Stop Saying R*tard

Language matters. 

Words matter. 

I get accused of being overly sensitive to certain things, but I don’t think that is quite true.  I am sensitive when people say something about my weight, or my nose or my total lack of organization.   But I am not sensitive when people speak derogatively about an entire population of people.  I think I am being respectful.   I am considerate of their feelings, I am regardful of who they are and I am certain of their equality.

In the Charles Dickens novel, A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present, who pulls his robe aside to show two emaciated children that belong to mankind. 

“And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers.  This boy is Ignorance.  This girl is Want.  Beware them both, and all of their degree; but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.”

Ignorance is doom – not bliss. 

Thomas Gray’s poem, “Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College”, is a reflection of the author’s school days before he knew the pains of the world.  He visits Eton College and watches the young students. –

 “No sense have they of ills to come, Nor care beyond to-day…where ignorance is Bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise.” 

But we cannot live blissfully ignorant and unaware, for that would be doom.  Every utopian book I have ever read ends with society being questioned by those who cannot remain ignorant. 

Back to words –

As a society we use many different words with ignorance, without understanding their true meaning, or that they are hurtful, foul, stereotypical or just plain mean.  Who uses these words?  I can tell you who I have heard use these words:  Children, Parents, Teachers, Leaders, Writers, Doctors, Lawyers, etc.  Many highly educated, worldly people. 

What word am I talking about?  There are many, but I am focusing on the word retard.  I would ordinarily say r-word, but I want it to be very clear what I am talking about. 

Aside from not using the r-word, my concern is that there will always be a new word.  Because removing a word from a person’s vocabulary is like erasing your wrong answer and writing in the correct one as the teachers goes over a test.  Did you learn why the answer was wrong?  Do you know why you should never use the r-word?

A person with a disability, whether it be physical, mental or cognitive, is a person.  Duh.  (insert eye roll) 

Disability is part of who they are – it doesn’t make them less.  Disability is natural.  You can be born with a disability or you can acquire a disability.  Humans are fragile.  But we are all human and we all have endless possibilities and tremendous capabilities regardless of our race, age, sex, gender, religion, ability, sexual orientation, hair color, eye color, weight, height, wealth, or the lack of.

We should never use any of these references in a derogatory manner towards another person.

There are approximately 470,000 words in the English language, and yet we continue to use the word retard in a derogatory way and diminish the wonderful characteristics and abilities of an enormous part of our population. 

If someone is doing something you think is odd – aside from using the obvious word, ‘odd’, you could also use; peculiar, curious, uncommon, outlandish, eccentric, kooky, far-out, preposterous, absurd, silly, etc.

If you think someone is making the wrong choice instead of using the r-word or even the word stupid you could use; brainless, mindless, foolish, obtuse, bubbleheaded, chuckleheaded, preposterous, etc.

You want to throw an insult at somebody?  Here are some fun words; cockalorum, snollygoster, lickspittle, bootlicker, toadeater, fart-catcher, smellfungus, ninnyhammer, Mumpsimus, hobbledehoy, mooncalf and so on.

When you use the r-word when making a derogatory remark, you are putting down a group of people that you don’t know, that you haven’t gotten to know and that you haven’t learned anything about. 

You are also perpetuating the idea that a person with a disability is less.  And I can assure you, that is the farthest thing from the truth. 

So, if you need to keep using this out-of-date, ugly, offensive word then go right ahead for your ‘wit is as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard’ – Shakespeare knew how to throw a proper insult!

For those of you that can see the error or your ways I hope you will change, just as Scrooge did, and learn to respect your fellow man, for ignorance is indeed doom. 

And I feel strongly that I need to end with

“God bless us, everyone!”